Monthly Archives: August 2012

Second email to my condo management company

> Otto:
>
> Thank you for the note. Help is on the way this morning.
>
> Pete

Howdy Pete!

After walking up six flights of stairs, I’ve lost more than a little faith in your definition of “help”.

Don’t get me wrong. After the sudden flooding rain downtown and the ensuing lightning storm, I fully get it. Shit breaks. No problem.

But, and here’s the thing, if the “usual” guys haven’t been able to get it to work on a reliable basis for almost 5 fucking years, then I’m not 100% sanguine about their ability to suddenly magically acquire the necessary skills to “fix it”.

Perhaps you should look into a different maintenance company? Maybe one with the “skills” to fit the “bills”. Just saying that, right now, after having to, once again, “hike” to my freakin’ condo, I’m thinking that perhaps we might be paying you guys (and by extension, the elevator maintenance company) a tad too much.

Needless to say, fucker’s still broken. Just so you know.

-Otto

Email to my condo management company…

Hi!

FIX THE FUCKING ELEVATOR.

It’s broke. Again. Stuck on the fifth floor. For no reason whatsoever. No weather, no power outage, no nothing.

This is like the fifth time in 2 months.

What is so hard about this? What is the major malfunction? Is elevator science new or something? Why can we not get a fucking elevator that works for more than 2 fucking weeks?

Is it money? Is it sex? Is there some kind of magical fairy fucking unicorn that is needed to solve this god-damn problem? I dunno. Do you? DOES ANYBODY KNOW?

Hire somebody worth a shit and get the god-damn thing corrected. Or somebody, at some point, is just going to stop fucking paying.

Nothing personal. Just a tad ticked off.

-Otto